So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
