You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
People in love make me want to vomit
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
