Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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