Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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