i was born a porn star she said
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
my poor anus
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
