it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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