I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
