my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
