he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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