thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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