I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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