Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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