Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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