sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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