Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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