i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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