well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
