no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
