You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
