we're blogging at a bar
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
