47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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