I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
