i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
