Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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