I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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