so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
