Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
