It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
