Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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