wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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