dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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