Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
