You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
