She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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