i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
