Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
