I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
