So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
