If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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