I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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