just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
