I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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