They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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