so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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