By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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