I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Damn victory sex feels great
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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