I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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