ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
