I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
