Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
