you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
