I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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