I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
